Nine out of 10 gay teenagers experience bullying and harassment at school, and gay teens are four times likelier to attempt suicide. Many LGBT kids who do kill themselves live in rural areas, exurbs, and suburban areas, places with no gay organizations or services for queer kids.
"My heart breaks for the pain and torment you went through, Billy Lucas," a reader wrote after I posted about Billy Lucas to my blog. "I wish I could have told you that things get better."
I had the same reaction: I wish I could have talked to this kid for five minutes. I wish I could have told Billy that it gets better. I wish I could have told him that, however bad things were, however isolated and alone he was, it gets better.
But gay adults aren't allowed to talk to these kids. Schools and churches don't bring us in to talk to teenagers who are being bullied. Many of these kids have homophobic parents who believe that they can prevent their gay children from growing up to be gay—or from ever coming out—by depriving them of information, resources, and positive role models.
Why are we waiting for permission to talk to these kids? We have the ability to talk directly to them right now. We don't have to wait for permission to let them know that it gets better. We can reach these kids.
Here's what you can do: Make a video. Tell them it gets better.
I've launched a channel on YouTube—www.youtube.com/itgetsbetterproject—to host these videos. My normally camera-shy husband and I already posted one. We both went to Christian schools and we were both bullied—he had it a lot worse than I did—and we are living proof that it gets better. We don't dwell too much on the past. Instead, we talk mostly about all the meaningful things in our lives now—our families, our friends (gay and straight), the places we've gone and things we've experienced—that we would've missed out on if we'd killed ourselves then.
"You gotta give 'em hope," Harvey Milk said.
Today we have the power to give these kids hope. We have the tools to reach out to them and tell our stories and let them know that it does get better. Online support groups are great, GLSEN does amazing work, the Trevor Project is invaluable. But many LGBT youth can't picture what their lives might be like as openly gay adults. They can't imagine a future for themselves. So let's show them what our lives are like, let's show them what the future may hold in store for them.
The video my husband and I made is up now—all by itself. I'd like to add submissions from other gay and lesbian adults—singles and couples, with kids or without, established in careers or just starting out, urban and rural, of all races and religious backgrounds. (Go to www.youtube.com/itgetsbetterproject to find instructions for submitting your video.) If you're gay or lesbian or bi or trans and you've ever read about a kid like Billy Lucas and thought, "Fuck, I wish I could've told him that it gets better," this is your chance. We can't help Billy, but there are lots of other Billys out there—other despairing LGBT kids who are being bullied and harassed, kids who don't think they have a future—and we can help them.
They need to know that it gets better. Submit a video. Give them hope.
I'm pretty sure I saw Rich (who writes the ANTM recaps that keep me watching that abomination) tweet tweet about it the other day, but I didn't watch because I don't have sound at work.
Answer: Oh, lol, everyone is a kidder. Rich is songstuck:
Her producers got a cease and desist letter from Maila Nurmi, who said the character was too similar to Vampira - who also had a low-cut black dress, long black hair, and a surly attitude.
Peterson doesn't do much other acting, but she was recently in an episode of "Medium."
Also, I hate new Blogger and I will probably never post again. Bye forever.
I really might start shouting, "Talley hug!" every time I see a hot guy, much the way you might shout "tally -ho!" if you see a fox and you are a British hunter. That way he will know even from afar that I'm gay and can figure out what he wants to do about that in relative advance.
Answer: Theories:
From old Norman Tya Hillaut,shouted by hunters when they found a deer, brought to England by William the Conqueror in 1066
From Palestinian Arabic Tāl hum, "Come here," brought to England by men returning from the Crusades
From French taille haut, "raise swords," a rallying cry of commanders on battlefields
From French taïaut, used to excite hounds when hunting deer (1772)
From French Thia-hilaud a qui forheur! which hunters shouted to encourage their dogs. It became the English "Tallio, hoix, hark, forward."
The More You Know: Fox hunting (or fox chasing as it's called here, since the point of the game is the chase, not the kill) is known as venery. The word comes from Venus, the goddess of Love, from Latin vener- "desire, love" or "hunt" or "chase." I hope you see where this is going.
Why: In the fourfour recap of last week's "America's Next Top Model" (which is the main reason I still watch the show - so I can understand these recaps), the first comment says:
Is it just me, or does Gabrielle look a lot like Venus Extravaganza?
Posted by: Noah
Answer: A transgender Italian American who was saving up money for sex reassignment surgery while earning a living as a prostitute in New York City before she died in 1989! Her given name was Thomas Pellagatti, but she was redubbed because of her membership in the House of Xtravaganza, where everybody is named like Dante Xtravaganza or Fallopian Tube Xtravaganza. As far as I can tell, this house has something to do with Harlem ball culture, where young drag queens and transgender peeps walk and vogue to compete for trophies. House of Xtravaganza and Robert / Venus were featured in the 1990 documentary Paris is Burning. Was that Bruce McCulloch? You better believe that's going on my Netflix.
Anyway, in 1989, Venus was strangled to death and stuffed under a bed. Her body was found 4 days later.
Such an effective death scene, too. In fact, it's impressively effective for a show that's so broadly displayed, and becoming so in on its joke, it seems like John Waters could be on the other end of the camera, driving Laura into an Edith Massey-sized frenzy to convey something as simple as the word "ocean"...
Answer: A portly snaggletoothed actress best known for her roles in John Waters's movies, including Multiple Maniacs (1970), Pink Flamingos (1972), Female Trouble (1974), Desperate Living (1977), and Polyester (1981).
The More You Know: In the late 1970s and early 1980s, Massey capitalized on the infamy of Waters's films by touring as the lead singer of a punk band called Edie and the Eggs. She died in 1984 of cancer-related illness and complications from diabetes.
In 1975, director Robert Maier made a documentary short about her calledLove Letter to Edie. There is also a director's authorized version re-mastered from his original 16mm color film footage.
Why: In the fourfour recap of "America's Next Top Model":
If L.L. Bean himself sent giant corduroy letters from the grave to relay this message, she wouldn't be happier.
Answer: Leon Leonwood Bean! That's a funny name! And he was from Greenwood, Maine! Leenwood Bean from Greenwood, Meane. Oh man, you can't make this stuff up.
L.L.Bean was founded in 1912 by avid hunter and fisherman Leon Leonwood Bean in Greenwood, Maine, who had developed a waterproof boot (a combination of lightweight leather uppers and rubber bottoms) that he sold to hunters. He obtained a list of nonresident Maine hunting license holders, prepared a descriptive mail order circular, set up a shop in his brother's basement in Freeport, Maine, and started a nationwide mail order business.
By 1912, he was selling the "Bean Boot" or Maine Hunting Shoe through a 4-page mail-order catalog, and the boot remains a staple of the company's outdoor image. Defects in the initial design led to 90% of the original production run being returned: Bean made good on his money-back guarantee, corrected the design, and continued selling them.
Why: Laura on "America's Next Top Model" is dyslexic, but - as fourfour says:
Major props to Laura for barreling through and just kind of dealing with something that is undoubtedly frustrating on multiple occasions every damn day of her life. She didn't cry or throw a fit or give up or abuse a mascara wand -- she sucked it up and did what she was asked to the best of her ability. And with a smile! I'd walk around with a big fucking chip on my shoulder if every time I wanted to get takeout, the menu was a sea of movement that went, "bluhbluhbluhbluhbluhbluh." I think it says a lot about a person's character when they remain positive despite being branded with something that gives them a free pass not to.
The More You Know: A few famous celebrities who had/have dyslexia:
Hans Christian Anderson, Alexander Graham Bell, Orlando Bloom, Richard Branson, George Burns, Cher, Agatha Christie, Winston Churchill, Tom Cruise, Leonardo Da Vinci, Walt Disney, Thomas Edison, "Albert Einstein," Gustave Flaubert, Harrison Ford, Whoopi Goldberg, Bruce Jenner, Keira Knightley, John Lennon, Jay Leno, Vince McMahon, Keanu Reeves, Nelson Rockefeller, Charles Schwab, Andy Warhol, Robin Williams, Woodrow Wilson, William Butler Yeats
The More You Know: What did you guys think? Do you already miss Amber's wacky antics? Who would you rather punch: Laura or Nicole? Is Kara really the lovechild of Lisa + Coryn?
Why: In this week's recap of "America's Next Top Model," fourfour compares London (the manic street preacher) to Becky in her short-haired-and-dumpy phase:
Answer: Alicia Goranson was Becky from 1988-96. Since then, she has not been in much except "Boys Don't Cry" and an episode of "Fringe," which Zack watches but I don't because it's too gross.