Saturday, June 4, 2011

What is onanism?


Search
: onanism

Why: In this story "Man Accused of Masturbating on Flight Faces $5,000 Flight, 90 Days in Jail" on Gothamist (which I went to because Brian's post on The Gate):
Airborne onanism is costly these days! Alleged wanker Kyle Pearce, a 25-year-old Floridian (Go Gators!), was arrested on May 19th after witnesses saw him remove his penis and masturbate "to the point of ejaculation" during a United Airlines flight to Denver. An 18-year-old woman sitting across the aisle from Pearce told police, "I heard a noise and looked over and saw his penis. He was wearing jeans tucked into cowboy boots... He told me his name was Kyle. He ejaculated & got some on the seat." Wow, that Kyle sure knows how to break the ice!
Answer: It's masturbating! Jerking off! J-ing O! And it's Biblical!
But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother.
Yuck!

Here's the rest, y'all. It's one of the passages lunatics quote when talking about the Lord's distaste for contraception. Onan's brother was dead, ftr, and Onan only wanted to bang his widow Tamar, not raise her kids:
8 Then Judah said to Onan, 'Go in to your brother's wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her; raise up offspring for your brother.' 9 But since Onan knew that the offspring would not be his, he spilled his semen on the ground whenever he went in to see his brother's wife, so that he would not give offspring to his brother. 10 What he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord, and he put him to death also.
Apparently, the thing that made God mad was that Onan was doing something fun without any consequences. Unacceptable!

Source: Dictionary.com, Matt1618

The More You Know: